Love Rant: The Google Chrome Commercial

I love that Google Chrome ran this ad during primetime on NBC Thursday night:


Ku.Dos.
Both to Google and NBC.
This is a pretty big deal to me.
I realize that the commercial itself is about the power of the internet, but I think it is pretty damn cool that Google showcased clips from the It Gets Better Project during the commercial.
I just love this. It's cool to see. I don't think you would have seen something like this, even a year ago.
It's really cool to me that people and companies alike finally have the balls stand up and stand with gays. Who the hell would or should care about backlash when kids think it's a better idea to kill themselves rather than be who they are?
It's cool to me that people and companies alike are realizing that we cannot continue to foster a society that drives young lives to jump off bridges-no matter if they're straight OR gay.
It fills me up with such hope that people care so much about TEACHING young people that their lives are VALUABLE. Even if they're gay. It's really cool to me, that we've come far enough in recent years that Google and NBC see more good in running an ad like this than they do in any negative backlash that might come their way.
Awesome.
Awesome.
AWE-SOME!
This makes me giddy with excitement, y'all. Seriously. I wish I could be more eloquent but I'm too damn full of emotion.

AND what I love even more about this ad, is that if it meant something powerful to me (a 20 something lesbian who's been out of the closet for over 8 years and has had nothing but positive support from friends and family) then, whoa...imagine what it meant to someone trying to come out or someone who doesn' have support.
It's just cool to see.
I am so blessed to have wonderful friends and family who've hardly batted an eye over me being gay. And that means the world to me. And I know how lucky I am. But when you're gay, even living in America, even if you have all the support in the world from friends and family, it's really easy to feel like the world at large doesn't care and would rather that you didn't exist they way you exist. It's easy to feel like you don't belong or fit in the world because of the way you are. We see so much of our lives reflected in the media, some of it more true than others, and more often than not "gay" is not reflected in the media. It's hard to find shows or movies with decently written gay characters; and that makes it hard to believe you fit in the world too. But that's changing more and more and more and it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy to know, that at least when it comes to bein' a big old queer, the world is becoming a better place for kids. And not only that but people WANT it to be a better place for kids.

My greatest hope for the world is that kids everywhere, no matter who they are-gay, straight, black or blue-won't have to think too hard about how to be who they are. They'll just do it. 'Cause it's natural.
Thanks to the It Gets Better project for tellin' 'em its ok. Let's ALWAYS tell kids its ok to be who they are.


Now, we've told our youth that is gets better. And if you ask me, we owe to them to not only promise that it gets better, but to do our best to make it better NOW.









Also, as an update...

Molly is feeling SO much better and more like herself. How can I tell?

She's back to ignoring me.

Love Rant: Pearle Vision!

So. I had to make an eye appointment to get my eyes checked. It's been about two years since I had my last exam.
Time to get them peepers a stronger set 'o' specks before I start all out Mr. Magoo-ing around town.

Upon a recommendation from my Papa, I decided to go to Pearle Vision.

So I walk in to Pearle and am greeted right away by a friendly gay man who directs me to the waiting area. The most important part is that he was friendly. I only mention he's gay because sometimes it's nice to walk in a place (especially in the suburbs) and be like, "Phew. My people." I can get a long with almost anyone. I like almost everyone. And I have a ton of patience for people. But sometimes, especially since I'm so visibly gay, it's just nice to know you won't be judged and that for a change, you won't get the "up and down" while someone tries to figure you out. Maybe this friendly gay man was secretly criticizing my barn jacket from gap kids in his head and how it didn't match my shoes BUT his friendly smile did my little ticker good.

Then the friendly gay man did all my initial tests. I am notoriously bad at the "hold still and don't blink while a poof of air is shot at your eye test" but it only took him twice for each eye to get it done. Nice shootin', dude! He also took 3D pictures of the inside of my eyeball!!! Uh...AWESOME. The insides of my eye look like OUTER SPACE!!! Don't believe me??
Observe:


EYEBALL (not my eyeball):




OUTERSPACE:


Uncanny, right? I'll refrain from discoursing on the possibility that there is an alternate universe IN OUR EYEBALLS.
For now, at least.


So then I got my peepers checked by a nice doctor. The doc showed me and explained the 3D eyeball images. That conversation went like this:
HIM: (Pointing) Ok so what you're looking at hear is eye mumbo jumbo blah blah retina blah blah nerves.
ME: *Half interrupting him, unable to contain my excitement over seeing my eye in 3D* WOW! That's awesome!!
HIM: ...yes. Yes it is quite cool. Anyway, this is your other eye part and it attaches to this and don't worry about these dots that's just the alcohol we use to clean the machine, you don't have melanoma or anything.
ME: Oh. Ok. Well that's good.
HIM: Yes.

Then the doctor sent me back to the friendly gay man to pick out frames and check out.

Ok, sometimes, when you're a tiny lesbian that looks like a 13 year old boy, it gets old constantly having to "explain" why your style is the way it is. I mean, I'm sure on some levels it's difficult for everyone to find things that fit their style and I know everyone has their hang-ups and insecurities.
BUT, occasionally, I think it's a hard thing for people to wrap their brains around that I'm not trying to be different. I'm not trying to look like a boy or a man. I'm not trying to make a statement. I'm not trying to challenge gender norms. It's a hard thing for people to understand why a girl wants to wear boy jeans or a boy shirt. I get...gender is one of the most fundamental ways of categorizing people. But, I'm not trying to do anything other than be myself and for me...that means sportin' converse sneaks and kickin' it in boy jeans.
All I want to do is exist in the world in a way that's comfortable for me. So yeah, I buy some clothes from the boys section. Yeah, my hair is super short. Yeah, I could watch Mythbusters ALL DAY LONG (and get super excited everytime something explodes) and yeah, I always carry a pocket knife.
It doesn't mean I don't like being a girl. And it doesn't mean I want to be a boy. And I'm not even trying to be ambiguous. It just means, this is me and this is how I roll. Most of the time (99.9%), it's not a problem. No one has ever been *really* ugly to me (I can count on one hand the number of times I've been called a "dyke" in a nasty way). But, especially in the suburbs...there are stares, I've seen people "titter" at me out of the corner of my eye or behind my back and one time in a restroom some chicks all out laughed at me. This sort of BS really doesn't bother me. It's actually the simple stuff that can be the most difficult...

Like...clothes shopping. I do it almost exclusively online. Because it feels weird to shop and pick out clothes in the boys section and then think, "which dressing room should I go in?"
Like...Hair cuts. I don't get bent out of shape over it, but it does get old to hear, "Oh. You like it short, huh?" Every. Single. Time. I. Get. My. Hair. Cut.

I will fully, 100% admit that most of these hang ups are completely my own. I get really insecure when I feel like I make someone uncomfortable. It's just weird to feel like you've made someone's head explode because you're a chick and asked for a number 2 razor to be taken to your hair. Is some of it in my head? Sure. Absolutely. I think a lot of everyone's insecurities are all in their brain. But it some of it real? Yup. It's gotta come from somewhere.

Anyway, all this to say...picking out eye glasses frames. Ladies frames on one side of the room. Dude frames on the other. Look, I totally get that eyeglasses are a little more utilitarian. Every pair of frames I've ever had have come from the ladies section. I'm not saying that I wanted to pick out frames from the men's section. But, well, here's what happened...

So friendly gay man asked me, "What kind of frames are you looking for?"

I pointed to my current pair of glasses and said, "Something similar, maybe I'd go with a plastic frame. But I like classy, simple and classic. Preferably black frames."

So, he starts pulling pairs off the shelf. We try this, we try that. I find a couple of half frames I like. So, we're looking at those and then he suddenly goes, "Oh honey (gay men are pretty much the only people I'm ok calling me "honey") let me check your prescription, I think it's too high for half frames."
And sure enough, dorky von dorkerton that I am...my lens will be too thick to go in half-frames. Oh well.
So we're looking some more and I start trying on some plastic frames. He starts handing me some and can tell by my reaction I'm not so hot on what I'm putting on my face. The shape of the glasses weren't right for my face, most of the plastic lens in the section kinda subtly curved up and looked dumb on me. My face is kinda square, so anything curvy looked dumb. So, I find a pair I can live with but friendly gay man can tell I only like them enough to live with them. So friendly gay man says, "Hang on. I think I have something you'll like"
And then friendly gay man then walks across the store, to the men's section and comes back with a pair of frames.

I put them on.
And they are perfect.
They are the right shape.
They fit me well.
And they are black, simple and classic.

There was something about the shape and the size that just worked on my face. The difference between men's and women's glasses in terms of style really isn't much, I get it. I'm not saying I couldn't have found SOMETHING in the women's section. That's not the point.

So, I put them on and I know they're perfect and so I say, "Perfect! Done and done!"
He he's like, "Wow, that was easy!"

And I kinda laughed but I wished I had thanked him for listening and I wished I had thanked him for knowing. I wished I had thanked him for not forcing me to say, "Eh. The feminine look doesn't do anything for me." Dude looked at me and thought to himself, "Oh. I can tell by this person's converse sneakers, loose fit jeans and jacket from gap kids that I probably shouldn't suggest the pink frames." He knew what I wanted and was willing to go to the other side of the room to get it for me. Even though what worked for me was *gasp* out of the men's section and *gasp* I'm a girl.

I really wanted to hug him. So often, I'm completely on my own when it comes to figuring out style stuff. Which is fine, most of the time I prefer it that way because most of the time the people who try to help are like, "what about the pink?" "how about a bra that boosts?" And I'm like, "Aaaaarrggg you don't get it."
I wanted to hug this guy for getting it. It might not have seemed like much to him, but to me it was pretty awesome.


I actually had fun picking out my frames AND THEN this friendly gay man was like, "I have a surprise for you!!" I was like, "TELL ME!" He's like, "YOU GET FREE SUNGLASSES!" And I was like, "THAT'S AWESOME!"
And then we went over to the sunglasses section and he asks, "What do you like?" I said, "Aviators".
So we try on some aviators and they're not really working for me. They dipped a little too low and made me look like a bee. I ask him what he thought. His reaction was kinda, "Eh."
Then I see a pair of super awesome, retro with a touch of funk Clubmaster Sunglasses. And I say, "THESE ARE AWESOME!" He says, "Oh yeah, those are great. I talked an old lady out of those earlier today, they weren't working for her."
And I put them on and THEY WERE AWESOME. So I got them. For free. Ray Bans. Ray Ban sunglasses. For free.
I had them in my pocket later that day, along with my ipod and thought to myself, "Shit, I hope I don't get mugged. I've got like $300 worth of stuff in my right jacket pocket alone! And that's not counting the 12 bucks and 10 dollar borders gift card I have in my wallet!"

So I love Pearle Vison. They are nice. They gave me free Ray Ban sunglasses. But even nicer than free sunglasses was the guy who helped me. I love people who do their job well. And I love connecting with someone and feeling like they "get" you without having to exxxxplaaaaaaain yourself. Even if it's just for a fleeting moment to pick out stupid eyeglasses frames. Thanks, friendly gay man. I'm sending you a big hug.



I will post a picture of my new frames once they come in. For now...check out my super awesome sunglasses! I asked my Dad what he thought of my new shades and he said, "You look like Elvis Costello".



























What these sunglasses say: Allison, I know this world is killing you. But my aim is true.
I haven't quite decided if I can pull them off yet, but I honestly don't really care.
They're too cool. And I am in desperate need of cool as my eye-glasses
progressively get more and more like coke bottles.


















So, to recap...
Why getting my eyes checked was awesome:
1. I found out there's an alternate universe inside my eyeball.
2. An awesome dude helped me pick out the perfect frames.
3. Elvis Costello sunglasses for free.

Things About Me That Are (APPARENTLY) Unattractive

Not That Kind of Lesbian

So, one night, before my broski left to go back to school, we were discussing what movie we should watch. He was trying to sell me this movie called The Losers. And I said, "Let me see it".
So he threw it at my head, intending for me to catch it.

And this is what happened:


And he was like...


And I was like...


And it kinda got me to thinking about Lesbian stereotypes and which ones I fit and which I don't fit. If I were a stereotypical lesbian I probably should have been able to catch that DVD with my teeth. Gay as I am, and "boyish" as I am, I was NEVER good at sports. The only place I've played softball was in grade school gym class, and I can't make a lay-up too save my life. Let's just say that while there were other signs in my youth and pointed to homosexuality, my sports prowess (or lack thereof) was never ever one of them. Not that being good at sports makes you gay or being bad at them makes you not gay, but you know...thinking about stereotypes that is one I most definitely do not fit.

So what kind of lesbian am I?
Well the quick answer to that is "The Amy C. Pocket-Sized Kind" but that's not nearly as fun as comics...

First of all, we can get this out of the way up front. I am most definitely not a lipstick lesbian:

I would not make for a pretty girl.

BUT...
I really like blow-torches and power drills:

This one makes me a walking stereotype.
...Although, I'm not nearly as talented with these tools as I pretend to be. Mostly, I like to carry them around and do simple things with them (like putting up a shelf) (using the power drill not the blow torch) and then feel really proud of myself.


I think motorcycles are cool...


...but dangerous.


I enjoy a good brewsky every now and then.


But I cannot take whiskey or anything else that must be "shot"...



I'm the vegetarian kind of the lesbian...

But I hate granola.
And I'm not a hippie.
And I don't have a compost pile in my backyard.

And I can't lie...
I really freakin' love flannel shirts.

Yup, call me a dyke and hand me an ax there is NOTHING I would rather wear on a crisp fall day than a flannel shirt. Granted, I rock the flannel shirt and make it look good, but still...

You Might Just Be a Lesbian If...

While out shopping for home improvement goods, you walk by a display of flannel shirts and think, "ooooooooo." And then you think, "But it's August" and then you think, 'But I love them."

And then you buy one.
With your home improvement goods.

Love Rant: Walgreens Drugstore for Carrying Same-Sex Wedding Cards

YES!

Seriously!


We might not be able to get legally married in Illinois but BOY HOWDY when we do? Walgreens is ready with same-sex wedding cards! And for now, they'll do just fine as "commitment ceremony" cards.

THANK YOU WALGREENS! A big thumbs up to you.

FURTHERMORE this was a Walgreens in the suburbs! I know! Crazy, right? I mean, I might have expected it from a Walgreens in Boystown, but the burbs? Whoa, baby!

Granted, it was only 2 cards and the choices were a card for "two grooms" with a cartoon of two tuxedoed torsos holding hands OR a card with rainbow hearts all over it. I know, not the best options but at least they were there.

The "two grooms" card was really cute. The rainbow hearts? Not so much. Don't take away my gay card but I'm not a huge fan of rainbows. It will be a cold, cold day in hell before there are any rainbows within a 10 mile radius of my wedding. Unless it's a real rainbow in the sky. My wedding will NOT have rainbow flag centerpieces, or a rainbow flag cake and I will NOT be wearing a rainbow tie at my wedding. Nor, will any member of my wedding party carry the rainbow flag down the aisle to the tune of "I'm Coming Out". Basically, at no time should anyone at my wedding say, "Hey, you know what this wedding reminds me? Last year's pride parade."

...although I wouldn't mind a drag queen in my wedding party. Or a dyke on a bike. PFLAG should probably have a float too. And I guess if they really want to the HRC could pass out pamphlets as long as they were willing to pass out wedding programs too.
...And if Elton John is busy the Chicago Gay Man's Chorus could do the music.
But over my dead body is anyone wearing a rainbow. We have to keep it classy.