Two years ago we were unprepared and didn't know what was happening when streams of men and women in pink paraded by our doors. We had a couple people stop in as they went by asking to use our bathroom. They were thankful for toilets that flushed and air conditioning. That gave us the grand idea that we would totally deck the place out and decorate the following year and be open for the purpose of providing our bathrooms and air to weary walkers...
So...
Last year...Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Yueill, Kassie, and Kristen spent long hours and great lengths decking out the Studio in honor of my mom. When I obliviously pulled up to work that morning and saw a HUGE sign that said "In Loving Memory of jan Cornelius", I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed. It'll go down as one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. The walk that year was very special, in every way. The walkers really appreciated the use of our facilities. I talked to many great women and got bear-hugged by people I did not know. Walkers got to see my mom's picture and many told me they'd think of her as they crossed the finish and that they were walking for her.
This year, I got to help decorate!
It's always such a touching experience. I am not too involved in any breast cancer organizations and I've never walked myself. I don't really know why. Mostly, it's just 'cause that's not how I deal. To me, now, my life is all about moving forward and while I'd help the cause in any way I could, in a lot of ways I feel as though I've already earned the "Cancer Merit Badge" on my life sash. It's not that I don't feel like I need to fight or pursue a cure or walk 60 miles with tons of fantastic people. It's mostly that I feel like I spent 12 years fighting with my mom and well...it's a battle that's kinda done for me and a chapter that's closed. I kinda feel like I spent 12 years walking for Breast Cancer. And I guess, in a lot of ways, in my own way, I continue to walk for Breast Cancer everyday of my life. The way I do this is by carrying my mother in my heart everyday of my life and being the person she taught me to be. I think it'd be important to her that I carry on that legacy and so that's what I try and do.
I may feel very differently one day if I ever get cancer or if someone I know and love gets cancer (again). I wasn't really old enough to walk or process that I should walk or volunteer when my mom was fighting for her life. I think a lot of people struggle with what to "DO" when either they or someone they love gets cancer. Walking is a palpable way to DO something. It hurts, it takes effort, its a journey, and it's something. Something to be done and that they can say they've done that's measurable. For the walkers that walk WITH cancer (yes, it happens and yes I've seen it) (these people are in a league ALL their own), I think walking is a palpable way to really freakin' STICK IT to their disease. And I say, high-fives to that. Walking takes strength, endurance, and a good attitude-all of what it takes to fight cancer. I admire, love, and support those who walk with everything I've got. Same as I do anyone on this earth who fights cancer.
I know that people walk for many reasons.
I love them for the money they raise to learn more about the disease/find a cure.
I love them for walking to understand somehow what it is to fight.
I love them for doing something to fight the disease.
Mostly, I love the Walk, (from the walkers, to the volunteers, to the people who run it, to the simple act of standing on the side line cheering) because it feels like people taking care of and caring about each other.
Mostly, I love the walk because I feel like it's what the world should be about...People giving a damn. People giving a damn so much that they're gonna spend 3 days walking 60 miles. People giving a damn so much they'll set up along the route to cheer these people on. People giving a damn so much they'll spend their own money to buy water bottles and freeze pops to hand out to the walkers. People caring enough to stop and look at the pictures of my mom, to not know me or my mother, but to say, "This is for her. This is for you."
WHOA.
WHOA.
WHOA.
You would do that for her, Ms. Walker I never met before in my life? You would do that for ME?!
What?!?!
Yes. Absolutely. Just like I don't know any of you people but here I am clapping my hands numb to cheer you on.
Here WE are as The Studio, handing out every band-aid and cold pack we can from our first aid kits, offering our flushing toilets and air conditioning.
Here is the Studio Staff, caring enough to make a special dedication table for my mother. Recognizing what this means to me.
Here we all are, hugging people we don't know.
Here we all are, thanking the crap out of each other, "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME WASH MY HANDS WITH RUNNING WATER!!" "WELL THANK YOU FOR WALKING!"
Here we all are, dancing to "Single Ladies" outside the Studio door.
And Jesus...here I am putting up with all this damn PINK. I mean, my lord, that's the biggest miracle of all.
I guess the stupid, naive, idealist in me kinda wonders why the rest of life and the world can't be this way. I wonder why we have to fight each other so much. I wonder why we so often choose to NOT take care of each other or support each other, or why we pick and choose who we care for/support. I wonder why we can't be human begins walking for each other, instead of just ourselves.
Here are some pictures!!!!
Omg. So. Much. Pink. EVERYWHERE.
A sign we rolled outside. It took us FOR-EVER to come up with the "quote". Melissa Etheridge always comes though. Seriously, we were getting super slap-happy had run through things like, "Life is a work of art, Color yours with hope." all the way down to, "Give me Liberty or give me DEATH". The Melissa song just felt right. It's line from her song "Run for Life". She performed the song on the Grammys or some other award show, bald-headed from chemo. She's a bad-ass.
President Obama broke into the Studio over night and made his own special sign for the Three-Day Walkers. Thanks, Dude!
Special memory table for my Mama.
...and special tune-age to pump the Walkers.
Walkers walkin' by...GO WALKERS! GO!
Walk for answers. Walk for more.
President Obama's sign in the flowerbox.
Mrs. Yueill and me. I might have lost my mama, but I'm so glad she sent me this lady. I love her.
Mrs. Yueill, Kristen, and Me. This picture is titled, "This picture looks like it was taken at a bar or a party"
This picture is titled, "A PROPER picture of Mrs. Yueill, Kristen, and Me"
So The Studio is where we teach art classes. As such, things can get kinda messy so we always cover our tables with butcher paper. Without our knowledge, the Walkers started writing on one of the tables and filling it with messages. It was full by about mid-way through the walk and at the end of the day we had something that looked like this:
Kind of amazing, right?
I snapped a couple close-ups of my favorite messages....
No! I did not take a picture of this one because their team name was the "Tittie Kitties" and that it was probably the most-lesbian name for any Breast Cancer 3-Day team. I took it because they are from Colorado. But now you probably just think I took it for the other reason, anyway. Thanks, guys. Real mature.
Mindy from Kentucky!!
I think you should move here too!
Thank you for being one of the highlights of our summer.
This last one was my favorite. It's pretty much been my mantra all summer, so to see it left on a table by a random stranger from a 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk was, well, pretty damn cool...
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