My New Job: A Story In Comics

So I started a brand new job recently. This new job is not like anything I've ever done before. It's a great place to work, with very nice people. But I feel a little out of my element so far. Mainly, because I'm way way waaaaay out of the "art" sector. None-the-less, I'm lucky to have found a job and to get to work for such a great place.

Aside from the nice people, having a paycheck, benefits (now I can get hit by a bus and not get sent to debtors prison), and weekends off here are a few pretty awesome things about my new job:

1. I get a super official badge that grants me access to the building.

It makes me feel a little bit like I work for the CIA or FBI 'cause I can say things like, "Yeah, I've got the security clearance to be in this cubicle sector".
Mostly, I like it because I wear it around my neck and in doing so I let everyone I meet/come across/smile at in the hallway made of cubicle walls know: Hey. I work here. So don't even think about asking if I'm here for take-your-son-to-work-day.

2. We got a free travel mug.

The coffee to go in the travel mugs was not included. But at least now my coffee can travel with me and stay reasonably hot. AND I can score points for the environment by taking my travel mug into coffee shops and filling it up instead of using one of their paper cups. You're welcome environment!


As awesome as badges and free travel mugs are, there are some things about my new job that are hard for me...

1. You are not allowed to wear sneakers.

Not even on casual friday.

2. You have to talk about polite things. Like the weather and The Hawks and laundry.


You are NOT supposed to run your mouth off.


If you run your mouth off you might insult people...


3. You cannot run in the office. I mean, no one has officially told me that I can't run, but I assume it's one of those rules you should assume to be true.
You cannot run.
You have to walk.
Professionally.
With your badge on.
Why is it such a big deal that you can't run?? Because the area where I work is pretty much made of cubicles, and hence there are perfectly crafted "lanes" for racing. I mean...DUH. And it could only be all the more interesting to race in cubicle lanes and have to dodge printers, recycling bins, and fax machines. ALSO, I think it would be way fun to put a prize in a random person's cubicle and have a race to find it. Kinda like rats in a maze, except less Kafka-esque.


Here are some things I wish about my job:

1. That I could have a drum set in my cubicle.

I don't know how to play the drums, but the office is so quiet that sometimes I just want to make some noise. Hence my desire to have drum set in my cubicle to bang on.

2. That the cafeteria had an ice cream machine.
The cafeteria at the place I work is run by the same company that ran the cafeteria at the university I went to. One thing my school cafeteria had that this cafeteria does not have was a soft serve ice cream dispenser. There were days where I would eat three ice cream cones in one day. And I certainly would not mind if those days happened again...


Really, if I could have a drum set and an ice cream machine I would be pretty made in the shade. I could get over not wearing sneakers. And if I had a drum set that would distract me from wanting to run around. And if I had ice cream to shove in my face that would prevent me from saying something stupid!! Everyone WINS!