Love Rant: This Sketch From SNL

Ok. Obviously this is brilliant for so many, many reasons. Not the least of which is Betty White, who was beyond hilarious all night long (I nearly fell off the couch when she came out on the Latin talk-show and couldn't keep up with the head-snap dance in that long-haired wig). I could go into great detail about Betty White's genius comic timing, the awesomeness of Betty White, Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler and Ana Gasteyer all on one stage-but really...it speaks for itself.

Here are the reasons beyond the obvious, that I love it:

1. "Lez" as a verb. If I had a nickel for everytime I had to do something girly when I would have rather stayed home and lezzed? Well...let's just say I'd have my own lesbian fashion line for girls who can't fill out the boob-sacs in shirts made for women.

2. Betty White saying she wishes she could go back and lez it up 24 hours.

3. "You can put that lesbian in any kind of a dress you want and you know what you're going to end up with?? A lesbian." This sketch made me realize that, growing up, I never needed a pony or a hamster or a pair of red converse high-tops...what I REALLY needed was Betty White sitting in the corner of my house, doing needlepoint-stating the obvious....

Like...when I sobbed over having curlers put in my hair...
MOM: I don't understand why you don't like having your hair curled! Don't you think you like so pretty??
BETTY WHITE: She's a lesbian!

MOM: Now why did you take your communion dress off ALREADY?! Our family hasn't even gotten here from the church yet for your party!
BETTY WHITE: That girl is a lesbian!

MOM: Why don't you want to go to social dance class?? Everyone else in the seventh grade is going!
BETTY WHITE: Awww! Just let her stay home and LEZ!

...and...when I brought home a boyfriend who was clearly gay himself, though nothing was ever said to me, I'm sure at one point this conversation happened...
DAD: Should we be concerned that she's dating a gay man?
MOM: Oh I don't think he's gay! Why would he be dating our beautiful, lovely, daughter if he was gay??
BETTY WHITE: BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HOMOSEXUALS. NOW TELL THEM TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET BEFORE THEY END UP MARRIED WITH FOUR KIDS.


Oh Betty White. What good work you could do for gays across the world if you could sit in a corner and state the obvious.


....also...I have new cursewords. They are "Crabapples!!" and "Awww Crackers!"