Love Rant: Inheritances

So, if you know me enough to speak to me regularly, you probably know I say "what?" "huh?" "pardon?" and "one more time?" a lot and generally accompany it with a point to my ear.

It's not because I don't listen.
It's because I don't hear well.

My family has been ALL over me to go get my hearing checked. I don't think it's that bad; they do. Problem is even when I had health insurance-audiologists and hearing aides aren't covered. And hearing aides? Super expensive. $3000 dollars per ear, easy. Plus, I'm 24 damn years old. Call me stubborn and unreasonable but I don't want to wear freakin' hearing aides. So, to recap, my super valid reasons for not getting my hearing checked are: a) Expensive. That spare change in my change bucket is for a new mac, not for hearing aides. b) I don't want to wear hearing aides. So I don't really care if I need them or not anyway.

Anyway. Someone let my the fact that I have a little hearing problem slip to my grandfather. He has had hearing aides ever since I can remember. But, he's an old man. It's necessary and plus, he can do fun, endearing, old man things with his hearing aides For example, when we were little he used to make them ring whenever we would hug him. Then he would say something adorable like, "Oh that was such a nice hug you're making me ring!"
Um. If I were to do that as a 24 year old lesbian....to anybody? It would be weird and slightly creepy.
So why get them if I can't even have fun with them?
Anyway, point is...my grandpa found out about my hearing problem. And my grandpa, as many grandpas do, likes to stew and worry about things. So, my phone rings today and I had the following conversation...






















What I love about my grandpa offering me his old hearing aides:
1. That I probably got my crappy hearing from him.
2. That he is sweet enough to do so. I love that the solution to my hearing problem is so simple to him. "Well here, just use my old ones! What's that? You say you can't see well either? Well shoot, use my specs! I'm due for an upgrade anyway!"
3. Let's set aside the fact that using his old hearing aides grosses me out a little bit...how about that his hearing aides are dinosaurs and probably weigh as much as I do and would not even fit on my ear? His hearing aides on my ears would be like putting a giant expedition frame-pack backpack on a kindergartener.
4. That throughout the entire conversation, the hearing aides that he wants to give me were not working.

Awesome.