Summer Lessons

This summer has been crazy. Absolutely crazy. Personally. Professionally. Everythingally.

I feel like I've been an emotional pinball this summer. Hittin' good spots that light me up with excitment, hittin' spots that should probably be followed by the sound effect, "Wah wah waaaaaaaaaaah".
I've learned a lot about myself these past few months. I'm a pretty proud, stubborn person. And I sorta felt like I failed at everything this summer. It's so hard to not be "THERE" when you want so badly to be "THERE." And because I'm not "THERE", I feel like I'm failing. ("THERE" being a job that I like, that affords me the ability to have a life that allows me to move out and be completely independent and self-sufficient. "THERE" being the ability to make my own life and have some security. "THERE" being the ability to not have to run so hard all the time to make my life work the way I want it to.) When I've been frustrated this summer, or down on myself or my situations my go-to "wish" has been, "God Damn, I wish I could just fast forward a year."
But you can't just fast-forward a year, nor if I was really honest, would I want to.


So, I learned a lot.

But I've learned one thing that's been especially enlightening and important. It may be one of the most revelatory things about myself I've EVER learned, in fact. And that is...

I am a super shitty farmer.

I don't think that plant could be anymore dead. And...I....I don't even know how this happened, really. One day it was fine and the next I looked at it and was like, "Oh, crap."
Well, that's kind of a lie. I guess I sort of know what happened...
It may have something to do with the fact that for those few weeks when it was super hot in Chicago and did not rain for a long time I kept saying to myself as I passed by the hose, "Ehhh....I think it's supposed to rain tonight."

Oops.
As intentional as the murder of my tomato plant sounds, I assure you...it wasn't. I'll grant you that it was maybe "plantslaughter" but most definitely not intentional nor premeditated. It just sort of happened. I kept saying I'd water it "when I got home" or that I'd "go out after dinner" and then...then I forgot or got occupied by something else.

So guys, next year? When I insist on planting plants? Someone please remind me what a shitty farmer I am.